Addressing Relationship Distress

Are you sick of the fighting? Have you tolerated enough and do you no longer find funny or cute the quirks and personality traits about your partner that you used to love; and that used to make you laugh?

Most relationships go through seasons and even daily weather within these seasons. To keep healthy, most relationships require intentional and mindful maintenance. Being invested in your relationship, putting in the work and weathering the storms with steadfastness, if and when they come, is key.

Here are some tips on addressing relationship distress:

Instead of criticizing your partner, talk about how it makes you feel when a hurtful act is done by your partner. Condemn the act and not your partner.

Show Compassion For Each Other

Creating a caring and compassionate dynamic in your relationship is an evergreen investment, and little acts of kindness, go a long way!

Listen… Really Listen

Listening with interest and attentiveness can lead to not only questions and new curiosities… but great conversation!

Stop Blaming And Accept

Blame does not lead to resolution. Look at past mistakes with the goal of learning from them, not with the goal of finding your partners mistakes. Accept past mistakes with grace.

Acknowledge The Positive

On seeing positive behaviors, actions, suggestions, solutions… acknowledge and and encourage these!

Recall The Reasons That Drew You Together

Don’t forget your love story!

Hold Back The Reaction… Act, Don’t React

While trying to resolve a fight think through everything you say… don’t react! Consider how to express calmly and constructively, from a place of compassion.

Talk When It Doesn’t Tire The Mind

Avoid sensitive conversation topics when you are tired, overwhelmed or overly distraught. It may lead to flare ups.

Prioritize Relationship Not Ego

Remember it is okay to not always have the last word. It is okay to not always be right. And it is okay to prioritize love above all else!

Touch Often

Even when things are awry… a simple compassionate (non-sexual) gesture of touch is a non-verbal way of telling your partner you love them.

Originally published at www.couple-care.com on September 4, 2018.