Top 10 Behaviors That Cause Marital Distress — Psych2Go
Marital distress causes an unhappy and stressful married life. Marital distress is extremely harmful to a person’s mental health. It may step between a couple due to various reasons. Marital distress is very common in today’s hectic life. Sometimes even small issues lead to marital distress due to differences in thought processes and opinions.
Some can be solved by a person’s understanding, and others may need help from a relationship counsellor. If these aids are not able to release the distress, then it is advised to part ways to lead a peaceful life.
Top 10 major reasons for marital distress are mentioned below
It is observed ninety-nine times out of hundred, that people don’t criticize themselves no matter how wrong they may be. This holds true for couples as well. If you are not happy with certain actions of your partner, then do not criticize them. Criticizing them causes more distress. As Dale Carnegie said, “when you are displeased with someone, it is much easier to criticize and condemn them than it is to try to understand the other person’s viewpoint; it is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise”. A person will never be happy if someone is constantly trying to criticize him/her which may lead to distress in marriage. Criticism is futile. It puts a person in a defensive mode. Criticism is dangerous, because it may wound your partner’s pride, hurt the sense of importance, and arouse resentment.
The feeling of importance is one of the most desired wishes of any individual. A lack of the ability to give an honest appreciation causes marital life to be stressful. A lack of involvement in your partner’s life may disable you from this. It is significantly important to tell your partner their importance in your life. This makes the other person feel content and secure. Insecurity is a huge reason for marital distress. A content partner will be the key to your happy life.
A lack of communication majorly causes emotional detachment. If you are emotionally detached then there is no point in being in a relationship. You have to constantly put in the effort to get involved in each other’s life. This may lead to a lack of interest in the partner and further moving out of marriage. The person may feel as if love, peace, and excitement have faded.
It is human nature to defend themselves in any critical situation. But if you are in a relationship, defending yourself, again and again, can be stressful for your married life. While you defend yourself in a marriage your partner feels neglected. Defensiveness may interpret a situation as if you are always pointing fingers on your partner. It simply means you are making excuses instead of taking responsibility for your deed. This behaviour initially causes small conflicts, further making way for bigger conflicts if the behaviour is not changed.
If for any reason couples are not able to express themselves in front of each other then this is going to be a huge cause of marital distress. It is the basic rule of marriage that you have to make each other a top priority. If you are ignoring the feelings of your partner it will cause stress. A stressful person will certainly cause distress in married life. You have to acknowledge the feeling and understand its importance.
Emotional abuse is a kind of abuse that may hurt the person emotionally. The attitude of continuous condemnation and criticizing leads to emotional abuse. It is extremely harmful to the individual as well as for the relationship. This attitude is never appreciated. It can be humiliating — yelling, embarrassing your partner publicly, insulting their appearance, belittling the accomplishment of your partner, and constantly criticizing them for their behaviour or action. This leaves a deep harmful impact on your partner’s mind. These thoughts get accumulating and explode at once. This may completely wreck your marriage.
This is caused due to lack of ability to share anything openly. It is very important in a relationship to be open about any aspect of life. If you need to share anything but you are unable to speak due to fear or feeling of judgment then this will affect your married life. Locking one’s thoughts that need to be shared causes stress in marital life.
Loss of respect can cause severe distress in marriage. It leads to an unhappy and painful marital life. Respect is sometimes considered more crucial than love in marital life. It is an act of humanity and care. You have to respect your partner at each step to have a happy life. It is easy to build mutual respect. It makes you feel trustworthy in a relationship. You may argue with a decision but arguing without respecting each other is a meaningless conversation.
A controlling attitude is very suffocating for a marriage. Some of the control-freak attitudes can be continuously spying, taking a decision on important things without consulting the partner, always giving orders, or lecturing them for their mistakes. These attitudes are serious problems that need to be solved immediately or consulted with counsellors. The partner living with such a person may develop stress and it can even be fatal for them. This is one of the major reasons for marital distress.
This is one of the biggest reasons for marital distress. If one partner has high expectations but the other one is unable to fulfil them this may lead to arguments. As an argument increases it causes distress in a marital relationship. It is important to minimize expectations from a partner and be content with what you have. Research has proven that sometimes unfulfilled expectations make a partner insane.
Summing Up
Here, we have discussed relationship distress. With each passing day, the stress in a relationship is increasing due to changing human nature. Criticizing each other is quite easy but by doing that we do not make lasting changes, it just increases distress in your marital life. Everyone dreads condemnation and so does your partner. This is the
Originally published at https://psych2go.net on June 28, 2019.
